How to Maintain a Healthy Level Of Insanity in RETIREMENT…
With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down!
Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
Sing along at the Opera or during a musical performance.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’
Tell your grandchildren when they come over for dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go….’
Go to a store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, “There’s no paper in here!”
Quiz: How Old Are You Really? From the following list of 25 items, count all the ones that you remember — not the ones you were told about! How to score yourself is at the end.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar-water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda-pop machines that dispensed bottles
5. Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before a movie
9. P. F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (e.g. Olive – 6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45-RPM records … and 78-RPM records
15. S&H Green Stamps
16. Hi-fi systems
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-in theaters
24. Studebakers
25. Washtub wringers
If you remembered! 0 – 5 = You’re still young 6 – 10 = You are getting older 11 – 15 = Don’t tell your age 16 – 25 = You’re older than you thin