Remember the Reader’s Digest and those corny jokes?
Submitted by Marsha Arnold
We’d love you to send us any jokes, comics or photos that make you laugh. For your troubles we’ll have 3 random draws for gift cards over the next three months. Jokes will be shared in newsletters and/or on Viva Engage.
Dazed and Confused
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
I tried to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are so hard to find.
A Senior’s Last Day at Costco
Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, that weighs 101 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? (the following is not an AD)
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well, and I was going to try it again (I must mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story).
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won’t let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say!
